Neocolours

I hope this is in the right section...

I really just wanted to ask something since I need to vent this before I loose my mind but:

Has anyone ever had to deal with a death in the family around a holiday season or just the death of someone very close to
your heart? It's almost Christmas time and I keep replaying things in my mind, regrets, sorrow, things I should have done
before my brother passed away last month, and mostly anger. I'm having a hard time copeing with this and I
just want to know if anyone else is going through something similar or has in the past.

I don't mean for this to be a downer for everyone else's holidays though.

Ohh, I'm so sorry. =( Grief is always difficult... the holidays make it even sharper, I think. We always hear that those emotions fade over time, and they do. But not at a predictable rate, and there are some things that never can go away entirely. Moments of regret can sneak up on you years later. I hate the nightmares about guilt and sadness. But I do love the good dreams that I also sometimes have. Just last night, actually, I dreamed I was going to the backyard to find the family dog, who died several years ago--she was The Dog for us. It made me so happy to see her there, just like she always was. Dreams are the only closure I seek.

The hard part is finding a balance between regret and happy memories. If it helps, the happy memories are more important, both in the short term and in the long run.