Neocolours

Recent discussion on RL AaToW made me remember we had a poll about sexuality a while back. I couldn't find it (it must have been a long time ago!) but if I recall correctly we had a large proportion of people (maybe up to half?) who didn't answer heterosexual. And I thought it would be interesting to do the poll again.

I think the first three options are well known enough not to have to explain. Maybe I'm wrong though, in which case, tell me!

Asexuality is less well heard of, though I guess among the NC demographic it's probably better known. Sorry to any asexuals wanting to give their romantic orientation- there just isn't enough space. Feel free to say so in a post here, or if there are enough then we could have a separate topic and poll.

Pansexuality and Polysexuality I've only come across on Wikipedia, but since I had heard of them I thought I should include them.

Yay, a good old-fashioned NC discussion post! *hearts* I answered the poll, of course.

Technically I would suppose I'm polysexual, but I'm stubborn dammit and I like the word bisexual. I take gender as more of a spectrum, but I like the sound and also the simplicity of the bi label. If you use "polysexual," you have to explain yourself each time. I'm lazy!

Closely tied into sexuality, for me, is that I'm also polyamorous. That's a flexible word to define, but personally, it means I have more than one romantic relationship (and everybody knows about everybody). Functionally, being bi and poly means that if it can ask me out, I can date it. Haha.

I'm gay, haha, which... I'd honestly be shocked if anyone here didn't know that by now. Though when i first started to come out to myself, in high school, I was convinced I was bi. I think it had to do with the fact that I was actually in a serious relationship with a man at the time, and that I didn't want to admit to myself that I could possibly only be attracted to women. I got over that pretty quickly in college. I find men attractive, but I don't like to think of anything below the belt ;)

To be honest, though, I consider myself like... gay regardless of gender. It's hard to explain. I had a colorful conversation with Ty about this recently (as most of our conversations tend to be!), and I've really come to the conclusion that if I were a man, I would still be gay. I think my sexuality is just a -huge- part of who I am, in that sense.

Edited cause my grammar is awful.

I voted for the nearest name, but the more honest answer is "it's complicated". I'm asexual, but in a committed relationship. So, yeah. Not exactly straightforward.

I consider myself asexual, with a little bit on the questioning side of things. A big part of it is that I'm incredibly shy, so I'm not sure what kind of relationship I'm interested in because I've never had a serious one. On the other hand I've never really had the drive to actively pursue anything relationship wise, so asexual fits pretty well. I'm open to whatever the future may hold, but for now I'll stick with asexual.

I wonder if that makes any sense? I shouldn't post when I'm sick.

AngharadTy wrote:Yay, a good old-fashioned NC discussion post!

^ This

Ty also wrote:I take gender as more of a spectrum

This also! I could've probably ticked about three or four of those boxes with some justification.

And, yes, Joey, that makes perfect sense to me.

I'm also gay, which I'm not sure if I've actually mentioned on here. You all could have guessed anyway, heh. I only came out just over a year ago, once I moved out of town to university (small town, big family = not ideal). But everyone knows now and it's gone better than I had expected.

I'm straight. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and I'm pretty certain we'll get married. He's my first everything (except kiss) but he makes me insanely happy

I'm straight, but have never been in any real relationship romantic or otherwise. I'm not actively searching for a partner due to a variety of reasons, but mainly because I'm still working through years of depression and anxiety. I still don't think I'm quite at the point where I could participate in a equally giving and healthy relationship. That doesn't mean I don't ever want to, but I certainly don't want to force myself into being with someone just to say I am. And while I believe the universe in its infinite wisdom created equally hot men of all races, creeds, sizes, and ages, there's still a whole list of things any potential guy would have to be okay with concerning me. I don't want kids. I'm an atheist, but he doesn't have to be. I'm independent or liberal to some when it comes to politics. I'm black. I'm tall, some guys still have hangups with taller or bigger women. And most importantly of all, I'm a huge geek. Oh, and by cutting out girls that removes half of the people who'd be totally into that. So, yeah. I'm not terribly fussed about it most of the time.

And, yay! Discussions!

Kantark wrote:

Ty also wrote:I take gender as more of a spectrum

This also! I could've probably ticked about three or four of those boxes with some justification.

I did wonder about allowing more than one option, but at the same time, (I guess rather selfishly) I wanted to see if we could repeat the more than half non-heterosexual result and that wouldn't have worked with being able to choose several options.

I plan to reply in more detail about myself, but I don't have time to write a proper post now and won't tomorrow, either.

I chose bisexual -- I don't really like labels (I know that's a cliched thing to say, but whatever), but it's closest. I lean more one way or the other depending on the gender of the person i'm interested in at the time. I've been in relationships with men but none (no physical ones, anyway) with women yet. Most of my friends (real-life and online) know, and some of my family members, but I don't talk about it at work because some of my co-workers are pretty homophobic and it's easier to keep my personal life separate.

daisybell wrote:I did wonder about allowing more than one option,

Yep, I assumed you hadn't because it would get rather complicated! We could always do a Kinsey-style poll later (if memory serves it's 0-6 with 0 being completely heterosexual, 6 being completely homosexual, i think?), and also a sex-drive-type one (0 being asexual and 6 being the opposite, er... Tiger Woods? I'm suffering brain fade tonight.) On that scale I'd guess I'm about 1 or 2 on orientation and 1 on drive.

Wow, this really is a good 'ol fashioned topic.

Straight. I will say I'm very flattered when lesbians give me compliments. I've only been in one serious relationship that lasted for 2+ years. My personal desire to be with anyone is largely compromized by how badly I want to omit this whole "dating phase" crap and rush to the altar. I get drunk off these "happily ever after" endings, and men normally don't feel the same way about marriage and commitment as women do. I simply don't want any relationship that won't end in marriage at this point.

*delurks*
I picked pansexual, but I'm also asexual. I have no problem being with a person, I'm just not interested in doing anything sex-related with them or anyone else. As such, I really don't care what's going on in another person's pants and it wouldn't influence my decision to be in a relationship with them. Sex and gender mean absolutely nothing to me when it comes to that sort of thing.

I'm also transgender, so I'd find it a bit hypocritical of myself to not want to be with someone just because their sex didn't match their gender or something. So... pansexual.

*also delurks*

I'm straight - to the point of being a tad boycrazy. (As some NCers can attest to! Hee.) I often get asked if I'm bi, though, because I make physical contact a lot - i.e., leaning on people, cuddling with them, hugging them, etc - and that's true with both genders. There are occasionally awkward situations with that because that's actually *not* how I flirt - I snuggle platonically more often than romantically, it just soothes my brain to be in physical contact with another person.

For those who read Anita Blake books, it's like shapeshifters in her universe.

I've never had sexual/romantic interest in girls - for a while it was hard for me to even have a lot of female friends (it's changed over time), just because of how dramatic and catty girls can get sometimes, haha.

Growing up with this forum is one of the reasons I know so much about sexuality and how different people deal with it, actually - that, and Dan Savage, heehee. I am definitely really happy to see a bonafide NC-discussion thread around.

This post is really rambly. I blame it on the mocha!