Man, that sucks.
Something that might (or might not) help nervous flyers... have you ever read the "Ask the Pilot" column at Salon.com? I find it very interesting, but one of the nice points made over and over is that a lot of things that FEEL dangerous from a passenger's point of view really aren't.
Turbulence -- almost never dangerous. Loss of cabin pressure from a door popping a leak -- not dangerous. Etc. etc.
My big worry when flying is always when they do those really, really steep banks. I try to recall what Ask the Pilot wrote about commercial airliners -- that they really, really want to be right-side-up and left to their own devices, will return to that position -- to reassure myself that the plane is probably not going to suddenly flip upside down. (I get the impression the planes are sort of like giant Weeble Wobbles. Do kids play with Weeble Wobbles anymore? At any rate, flipping one upside down would apparently actually be really hard.)
Doesn't always work, but I try.